Date: 8/12/2010

Dancing at weddings

Get me in a nightclub, and this kid can move....not meaning to big myself up or anything, but i'm quite a good dancer.....put me in a social situation that isn't a night club...and its not so easy! For example, I enjoy everything about weddings... except the dancing. This is because I just enjoy things that make me feel comfortable...i can hardly bang out some shapes at a wedding can i.... Luckily, dancing is something that is incredibly easy to avoid. When I hear music in these situations, I simply focus on not awkwardly wiggling to a beat. Recently I was at a wedding in which dancing was unfortunately a recreational option. Also as a catastrophe catalyst, there was a free keg on tap and not nearly enough people to drink it. It was simply wrong to let such a thing go to waste, and I view my part in drinking it a public service. Two or three hours into the reception, the music stopped, and the DJ made the announcement, ''Alright guys and girls, we are now going to play a game. Can I have everyone come to the dance floor so we can get started?'' Unlike dancing, I very much enjoy games. Standing in the group of thirty to fourty wedding guests of all ages, I thought to myself, '' I hope weare going to play Jenga or something!'' We were instructed to make two circles with the girls on the inside and the gentlemen surrounding them. At this point the announcer told the two circles of people to start rotating opposite of each other. I definitely found this game most peculiar, but I was doing well at walking in a circle and decided to continue on the chance that I could be winning. However, this game turned out to be a clever trap....beer has a way of clouding my instincts. After a couple minutes of walking in circles the DJ told us to stop and started playing music. He instructed us to dance with whichever woman was nearest. My heart plumeted and my chest became tight. How did this happen? I was playing a game a moment ago, and now I was suddenly involved in this vomitous form of "fun." Old Time Rock and Roll played and I awkwardly swayed from side to side whilst also snapping my fingers, and then incorporated some foot action at the peak of my confidence. Iam not sure what it looked like, but hopefully everyone just thought I was trying to be goofy. Before long, the music stopped we were once again on the move. The next song to play was a very sensual slow tune which indicated to the men to put their arms around the waist of the nearest female. Then the true disaster struck! There was a gap in my place in the circle and I was missing a dance partner. I glanced around the floor looking for the odd girl out. With no such luck, I turned to my good friend and saw him dancing with the grooms grandmother. I said, ''I can't find my partner, do you see her?'' Before my friend could reply his geriatric companion croaked, ''If you don't have a partner, you're out!'' I chuckled a little bit and did a double take of the room. This was obviously the type of game that had no real winner, loser, or endpoint. ''Well I can't just wander off in the middle of this game!'' I cheekily replied, trying my hardest to be a good sport. When I finished my search my dance partner was still withstanding, and I returned my gaze to the grandmother. Surprisingly, she wore a mixed expression of furry and disgust. Granny raised her arthritic hand, pointed at me, and said, ''You're...out ASSHOLE!'' I maintained my gaze with the elderly woman as I slowly backed up and sat down in the first chair I happened to run into. This is just one of the many reasons why I don't like dancing unless its in a club.


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